{pics via pinterest}

I won't take up much of your Christmas time

The magical moments that should be spent with family, friends

But today I want to tell you a little story that might help you through this time. Retreat to a quiet spot, make a hot drink, make yourself comfortable & cozy. This should only take a few minutes... <3

i stared:

 the counters were filled

the stove sizzled and popped

and it seemed as if the very kitchen so quiet and peaceful had turned

into a veritable overflow

for deep fried pirogis & buttercream muffins

 & steaming soup

 & pomegranate kernels that littered the kitchen

While smoke wafted up to the lights twinkling overhead

My grandma, beads of sweat forming on her forehead

My sister propped on a stool squeezing ribbons of white onto more muffins.

two hours later: I walked outside to front porch where the rain was falling softly.

shoulders slumped.

"Daddy, Mom, Grandpa! Come home!"

Where is Christmas today?

"You see the rain?"

whisper "Yeah..."

"It'll be fine."

Where is Christmas today?

Takes my hand in his. "Just breath in the rain."

slow nod.

{pics via pinterest}

*drum rollllllllllllllllllllllllll*

*silence*

i'm back people, I"M BACK. xD

It's been so long, wayyy too long and I regret getting out of the loop. I'm going to try hard to post here every Saturday even if the posts are short & not the level of perfection I'd like them to be. But while I've been away sooo much has happened. 

Let me bring you up to date...

ALBUMS, ARTISTS & SONGS THIS MONTH
•  LOTR soundtrack • Hourglass Album by Emily Hearn • Take Me With You by Fleurie • Epic Christmas Music (try working out to this srsly) • Ultimate Christmas Album by Frank Sinatra • Pentatonix Christmas • Piano Guys Christmas • Tessa by Steve Jablonsky • Narnia Soundtrack •



BOOKS & MOVIES THIS MONTH
•  Midnight at the Electric • Salt to the Sea •  Eragon •

•  Iron Man • The Incredible Hulk • Pirates of the Caribbean (all of them) •





SPECIAL THINGS THIS MONTH
•  i'm seeing family i haven't seen in seven years • lifeguard training • midterms (THANK GOD THEY"RE DONE) • rediscovering writing and thinking over a book idea • Christmas Break • ice skating • re doing my room • cooking... a lot • recording family history • SNOW! •

I'm not gonna lie, anxiety has been consuming me lately
My thoughts have been swallowing me again and again.

Texting my friends has never been so hard, I'm scared I'll say the wrong thing...and though I tell the truth stoically sometimes I wish things were different, sometimes I wish my situation allowed me to say yes more often than no. I hate being the mysterious friend with a dark past, i hate being the girl known as the most cheerful and free spirited when in truth I'm fighting inside and some days the fighting gets physically painful.

It's hard to tell people those things...
It's hard to open up, to trust.

It's hard when you're being double crossed,
It's hard when people only know parts of you.

And don't get me wrong, I have an incredible family and incredible friends.
It's just that little achy hole, Satan whispering his lies, my over active imagination swirling me into imagined depths.

And we all have those struggles, some of us more than others.

And God is good without failure, and I need to remember that.

Prayers for me this month, ok? <3 Please email me or comment if you'd like me to pray for you because it's so important and I've been neglecting my spiritual life lately.

Anyway! Moving on to lighter subjects :)

 I've been fooling around on Goodreads a lot...so friend me there and we can talk about books and my upcoming WIP which I will hopefully finish finally. I can't wait to hold a printed out first draft copy in my hands :) THAT GLORIOUS DAY *operatic vibrato*

ALSO I painted my room light blue! I added fairy lights and am working on pulling a SUPER aesthetic look together. I'm thinking this style for the top of my bed...the only think is I have sort of a fancy curlicue head board so I'm gonna have to work on incorporating that :P




MY PINTEREST FEED IS LIKE FREE THERAPY NOT EVEN KIDDING YOU xD #thingstobethankfulfor

I am secretly documenting my family history being told to me by my incredible story teller Grandma.

CHRISTMASSS IS COMINGGGGG *runs around like a headless chicken*  TALK TO ME ABOUT YOUR PLANS, as for me...my family might be going to a ski resort with friends *flails*



How's the lifee? Talk to me about Christmas! And if you need prayers I will pray for you, I promise with all my heart...comment below or email <3. How's writing going? Talk to me peeps! 
 
No one who hopes in you 
will ever be put to shame
(Psalm 25:3a)