*imagine header*

{ *cries because I can't even insert any pics in this post*}

Hello my frens!

Today's post is going to be (very) short and sweet. As many of you know I'm dealing with butchered wifi and loading and working on any online things is becoming a pain. Also with April nano coming up I will be taking a hiatus all month to focus on writing and finishing this school year strong. BUT I have an announcement to make. The FIRST week of April I am going to have a surprise on the blog! I've partnered with some incredible poets to bring you a collaborative week of poetry. This will happen on the first week of April and after that POOF I will disappear. Also I deeply apologize but I will probably not be able to answer to your comments because of my wifi issue. But despite that I love y'all and will be reading your comments. Thank you for sticking with me. :)

{ *cries even more because, hey no arrows today...*}

xD

Today we're going to visit the MindsetSpacecraft™

(it's gonna be a long visit but please...PLEASE hang on until the end. It's super important!!!) 

"What in the world is the MindsetSpacecraft™?" you ask

As weird and unknown as it sounds, you've probably been on it one time or the other. It has countless rooms and divisions...in fact MindsetSpacecraft™ is so attractive and desirous you probably got on without even knowing. It's shiny and beautiful and it only takes a glance to see this spaceship contains everything you've ever wished for. 

But let me break your illustrious illusion for a nitty gritty behind the scenes tour. Squint a bit and you'll notice that MindsetSpacecraft™ seems to flicker from it's beauty to a junkpile. It's one of the most confusing phenomenons, how this being seems to change under different lights and perspectives. It's almost dangerous and daunting and I don't blame you for denying what you've just seen. Because that's exactly how tempting & hopeful the MindsetSpacecraft™ is.

Now meet the owner of the ship:Captain Expectation, He is tall and handsome. Beware as we speak to him, he has bewitched thousands to attachment. I don't know if it's something in his dazzling dark eyes or if it is his enveloping presence. How he places his hand ever so gently on yours at the right time, binding you to adoration for eternity. Even I, who has known him since forever, struggle to resist his draw.

 Here, let us follow him through the rooms his spaceship contains, meet the passengers of this famed utopia. 



"Hello Kass!" I hail a girl with long brown hair, her eyes strangely glazed...her smile faint. She stands in the hallway carrying a large phone. We all can't help notice how perfect she is, from her almond eyes to her straight white teeth, her makeup is minimal and impeccable. Her clothing are in the latest style, a smooth white body skimming dress that seems to sparkle against her smooth light brown skin. Kass has been here for a very long time. Not many people can undergo the stress of the MindsetSpacecraft™ the way she has. 


"She seems to have made it!" you whisper to me as we follow her and the Captain down the hallway. 
"Ahh..." I look at Kass with pity. "But for all her beauty and poise she is fake. Her skin bleached, her eyes operated on, her eyelashes glued on, her body a product of decades of work and injections. She looks perfect doesn't she? Almost unreal, yet she can't stop, can't accept that even at this level she is perfect."
You seem shocked, amazed that this could even be possible. 
"Would our guest care to visit the cafeteria?" Captain swivels around.
We both nod and follow his quickening steps. I know that there is no possible resistance to any of Captain's requests, especially not one so easy.

Passing by a bustle of noise in Cafeteria #1: Yellow Zone...I notice your eyes widen and you smile. Everyone in that room seems to be attired in cozy sweaters, someone wears a dress with winking kitties all over it. People bury their noses in thick books while sipping steaming mugs. "Trying to catch up with my TBR!" A blonde guy yells as he serves his meal. He's explaining his double tasking to a curious visiting girl from the Blue Zone.

But Cafeteria #1: Yellow Zone is not our destination, Captain hurries us over to Cafeteria #3:Green Zone. Kass sucks her breath in before she enters, you grimace noticing the sparse company and contents of the cafeteria.Captain notices "Dear guest, we must be careful to respect our goals and expectations, green zone is where Kass belongs." 

Kass' hand quivers, she slides her phone into her Kate Spade purse and picks up the salad tongs gingerly. For the abundance of healthy green things in this cafeteria she makes a salad that looks incredibly delicious. Arugula greens scattered with roasted pecans, chickpeas, cranberries and the tiniest drizzle of hazelnut oil. 

We sit down at one of the tables. You try not to laugh because Kass is practically shooting her meal with her phone camera. I on the other hand bite my lip. I know what follows. 
"Would you care to follow me on Instagram?" she says brushing a tiny crumb of her lap."My username is Kass_Herschlifestyle"

 "Sure!" You smile thinking of your own tiny instagram page. 

Many hours later, after watching Kass blog, photoshoot, order new products, fix a minor online shop problem with a specialist, and a gym visit. It is already 2 o'clock. Our day has flown by.

"(your name in this blank), you seemed to enjoy the Yellow Zone...how about we spend the remainder of our visit there?" Captain suggests, smiling at you. I can only imagine how your heart floats in your chest right now. 


"Of course." You barely breathe. The Yellow zone is my favorite too for it is the home of the most low ranking, under appreciated artists. Artists that are just like me. 

"Hey cap!" We recognize the same blonde haired guy that was reading his book in the cafeteria earlier. He has a dimpled smile, messy hair and freckles span his gaunt face. Most wouldn't consider him attractive but I find him charming enough. He sits at the table his fingers hammering even while we stand around him. "Trying to finish this first draft..." He explains apologetically glancing at Captain Expectation. 

"Does he ever go outside? He looks so pale! When it's nice out, i work on my book outside!" You whisper loudly to me.

"Not part of my aesthetic." He grins at the screen, because you whispered a little too loud. "I go to get enough vitamin D, but it's not my thing. I can always see what things look like on Pinterest, plus the world looks better that way."

Your jaw drops in shock and I give you a knowing look. After all, the MindsetSpacecraft™ is a strange place, while you refused to see the flicker to a junkpile in the beginning you will learn the hard way what a deceiving and horrible place this is.

"I needdd chocolate but I wanna finish this!" He whines. Most of the afternoon is spent this way, I read one of the books on his physically towering TBR. Captain scrolls his tablet for new recruits and you bring Boswell chocolate and whatever else he demands while trying to make small talk. I can tell you are deeply disappointing because one of his published books is your favorite but he simply cannot peel his eyes of his own work to appreciate one of his fans. It ruins all the charm he could have.



"Well my dear guests, unless you choose to stay...it's time to say farewell." Captain interrupts me in the middle of my book. 

I sigh looking at the setting sun outside of the spacecraft windows. My eyes close for a moment and I breathe a silent prayer for all those stuck here. Boswell has finished his typing and the library is strangely silent. Only a silent buzz plays in the background. I will myself to stand.

"Come on..." I take your hand and we walk out of the large library and into the hallways. 

"What's that!?" you run to one of the wall and press your ear against it. A creak back and forth, back and forth. Peeking into the slightly cracked door we see Boswell, rocking back and forth on his rocking chair. Tears running down his cheeks, his fists clenched as he stares at the setting sun across him. The light floods his face and his voice cracks as he begins to cry. I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH. the words appear all over the walls of his cabin. 
 

You turn to me deeply disturbed. I nod and my chest rises, it hurts me too. 
"You didn't follow Kass..." I try to change the subject while teaching you a different lesson.


Our walking slows and you raise your head from your phone as we walk down the spaceship ramp into the desolate wilderness.

"Here she is...well would you look at that!" You click on her latest instagram post, it is the picture of the salad she took at lunch. It looks so different, yes it looked delicious at lunch but here it looks perfectly irresistible, its colors popping 10 times brighter than before. Your eyes wander down to the caption.

"Feeling empowered today, diet is such a huge part of feeling happy! Eating well helps me feel more beautiful and strong. What does it do for you? Also make sure to enter the latest giveaway on my blog!
#powerday #joysoflife #goodfood #foodphotography #happy #KassHersch"

Your interest turns into confusion, a frown. "She didn't look happy at all! For goodness sake I only saw her smile in the photoshoot and that was as fake as smiles come! But I don't know...maybe-"



"Turn around." I nod towards the MindsetSpacecraft™ which we are yards away from already. 

You gasp. The shiny beautiful craft is a dented, dull, horrid pile of trash. It's beauty has turned into a landfill. Screams fill the landscape, a strange sound rattles...it is the sound of shackles and chains, the cries that come are so heartbroken, the faces that appear from the ruins so destitute that you cannot help but break down.

Your hands fly to your face in horror as helpless tears streak your face.

Because the beauty you imagined was all a lie, and now that this harsh reality has woken you up  
you can see

The kisses you desired from Expectation were hard punches.
The neat divisions, the personalities were empty shells.
The goals and schedules were shackles and chains.
The Mindset was just a huge ugly lie

A huge ugly lie to keep you going
to keep you from finding the life you were meant to live
to chain beauty and enslave humanity 





Dear Generation,
Don't get aboard the MindsetSpacecraft™
It hurts to get on and it hurts even more to get off
We've lost people to it.
We're losing more than ever to
Depression, Anxiety, Mental Disorders
And the even more painful progression to
suicide and crime. 
Captain Expectation doesn't care, his last name is society. He doesn't love you and he never will.
You can work your butt off but it'll never be enough for him. Turn to the Captain that removes chains, His name is Jesus. He'd die for you.

Dear Generation,
Be kind.
We're all scarred here.
We're all working through varying levels of pain. 
We all believe in different things
We all have our own tastes, the things we love to do...
but deep deep down
under this skin, under these bones
we each have a beating heart
the same blood
we're all human here, we're connected
let's stop hurting each other
We all make mistakes, but let's stand up
Understand that we can't always understand

Here is my hand to hold
My ear tries to listen but it fails so often
My heart wants to love but it fears so much
My hands want to heal but they break so many things
My arms are open but I have myself to protect

But under all this
under all my shortcomings
under my image 
under my worn out heart
i care...